In March 2020, a pandemic-induced panic was sweeping the globe faster than the coronavirus itself. I remember a conversation with my wife as we mulled over how to procure household necessities with a looming lockdown. At that moment, I realized just how much of my life is outsourced — from clothing and food to transportation, entertainment, and so much more. Having moved to an HOA community in Southwest Florida, I didn’t even have a lawnmower anymore. (Can I get a witness from anyone glad not to be mowing their lawn in the heat of a Florida summer?) In a global economy, outsourcing has become so commonplace that it is nearly imperceptible.

While outsourcing has many benefits, usually with little downside, one thing we as parents must never subcontract is talking to our children about their identity. Parents can outsource many things as they raise their children, but helping our children understand who they are must be done in-house. For example, we’re  thankful for teachers who can teach our children about math concepts we haven’t used in decades, but we cannot and should not rely on them to teach our kids who they are.

You don’t have to look very far to see harmful ideologies adversely affecting children and subtly commingled with identity. “What I do” becomes confused with “what I am.” So, what can we as parents do to bring our children’s identity back in-house?

First, ask good questions. How often have you had a conversation with your children and received a one-word answer? Two questions we like to ask in Family  Ministries are (1) what was the best part of your day and (2) what was your “God-sighting” (i.e., how did you see God at work today)? Intentionally engaging your children in conversation strengthens your bond and provides opportunities for you to help them understand their true identity.

Second, read Scripture together. Our identity is not rooted in a post-modern, humanist understanding; instead, it is rooted in Scripture. There are so many passages that speak to our identity as children of God. Some of my favorites which I share with my children are Genesis 1:27, Psalm 139, John 3:16, and Ephesians 2:10.

Third, pray. Our heavenly Father hears your prayers. He created you, and He created your children. He desires that no one perishes but that everyone comes to repentance (2 Peter 3:9).

In faithfully doing these three things, we as parents can work to not only bring our children’s identity back in-house but also back into God’s house.

by Pastor Su Kim