I’m alone in the woods, hours away from anyone I know, covered in blisters and bug bites. I have a limp from badly twisting my knee on the summit of Mount Katahdin, the highest peak in Maine. Besides a quick call to my dad, my phone has been off for three days. I’ve also done all of it on purpose—except the blisters.

I had been ordained to pastoral ministry ten days earlier. I was about to move to my first house, start my first real job, and pastor my first church. I would propose to my future wife in a few months. I had a lot of life changes to process. So, I packed up my indestructible 2007 Dodge Grand Caravan and drove six hours to Maine for four days of solitude.

I left all my devices at home and chose a hotel room with no television. I had my boots, backpack, Bible, journal, and enough cash to buy some cheeseburgers. The trip was a significant splurge; fresh out of seminary, I hardly had any money, so spending $78 a night on an Airbnb was a stretch. As a major extrovert who gains energy from being with people, it was a difficult discipline for me to be alone and quiet for so long.

But something happened from choosing to be alone for a few days. It took a day or two for my head to stop spinning from the busyness of daily life. But as I slowed down, prayed as I walked, and listened to God silently, my journal’s pages began filling up. I gained clarity on important decisions, a healthy perspective on life changes, and a deep awareness of God’s presence amid life moving forward. I still look back fondly on the full journal pages, and I think those days of solitude were essential for the upcoming season of my life.

Henri Nouwen, a Catholic priest and writer, argued that solitude is the place of spiritual formation. Distance from our day-to-day life, whether for an hour in a day, a day in a month, or a weekend in a year, makes us realize we’re not so alone after all but that God’s presence walks with us wherever we go. Phrased another way: author Peter Scazzero often reminds his readers that being with God is just as important if not more so than doing things for God.

Adirondacks 2023

I just returned from another silent retreat at the time of this writing. I hadn’t done one since Maine and felt convicted after answering this Epistle’s Pastors’ Perspectives question. I took a bus from Albany International Airport to a small Adirondack motel, shut my phone off for 24 hours, and spent time sitting, walking, praying, reading, and nothing else.

Like last time, the beginning wasn’t particularly pleasant. I itched for my phone and my friends. I wanted to check the score of the Atlanta Braves playoff game. I got bored just reading my Bible and praying. Wait, is a pastor allowed to say that?

Discipline is the unpleasant part of spiritual discipline. It is a difficult discipline for extrovert Steve to be alone. For others who might fall closer to the introvert end of the spectrum, the discipline of solitude may not be so hard—it’s the discipline of being in community that might be more challenging! Followers of Jesus need to identify those areas of weakness where they don’t want to follow Jesus because leaning into those areas of weakness often helps them discover exactly where he wants to meet them.

For me, forcing myself to be silent and be in solitude serves as a spiritual detox for the noise and busyness with which I too often fill my life. Written in the pages of one journal entry from my previous silent retreat: When was the last time I just watched a sunset and enjoyed it without thinking about where I needed to be or what I needed to do? While it was difficult, I returned healthier, more grateful, less irritable, less tired, and more tuned into the everyday presence of Jesus.

If you notice your life tends to get too busy to keep up with everything, you fill space with music or the TV wherever you go, or you always try to be around people, join me in making an intentional practice of solitude. You might go off on your own with your Bible for fifteen minutes before the day begins or as it ends; you might make a reservation at a monastery for a day away. Solitude is where you can start to quiet the world and hear the still, small voice of Jesus again.

by Pastor Steve Clark